By: Red Robinson
Disclaimer: All I own is Professor Erica and Jamie, and this fanfic but
that's about it.
Rating: PG 13
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"Professor Erica, I'm sending you my latest catches, one Horsea and
Tentacool on the way," I hung up the video phone before she could answer
or ask about why I was calling from the Emergency room in a Pokemon
center. My Arbok, Poison, is currently in surgery trying to get my
Raticate removed from it's throat. Erica would kill me if she found out
I hadn't been watching them. She's wired like that, not that it would be
normal for any Pokemon researcher not to care, but she gets mad for the
strangest reasons. Like this one time she nearly chopped my head off for
losing to my home town gym leader Lt. Surge. I'm still trying to
convince her it was Team Rockets fault I lost, (even if they didn't even
show-up
that day they still make excellent scrap goats). I suddenly heard a
sharp "RING RING RING! RING RING RING! PHONE CALL! PHONE CALL!" from
behind me. Since there was no nurse that wasn't in surgery with
Poison... um, and technically Raticate...... I felt it was my duty to
pick-up. "What do you want?!?" I shouted into the phone. "For starters,
maybe why you're yelling and second, why you're in emergency!!!" The
Professor yelled back. Oops. "Now she's in for it." I heard her
assistant David saying in the background. "Could you tell David to
shu..." "SHUT UP DAVID!!! Now you were saying?" Ohhhh, I hate it when
this happens. "Well Prof. I just found this... this... the....
ahhhh...... most convenient place to..." Just when she was starting to
buy it Chancey walked out of Emergency and
dropped Raticate in my arms. "Jamie! Don't tell me you left those two
alone again! Haven't you learned your lesson the last 6 times? I'm tired
of yelling at you over a phone, get over here now!!!" And with that last
burst of anger she hung up to take out her frustration on David. I
sighed and waited for Poison to immerge. Man, did I hate it when she
calls me Jamie. Everyone may know me as the great Pokemon trainer Jamie
Justine (Jamie J by anyone who didn't want a fat lip) but all my really
close
friends call me James! (No morons, not James of Team Rocket). When
Poison
finally slithered out we hopped on my motor bike and buggied back to
Vermilion City from the Pokemon Center in Celadon. I'm hoping she'll be
too busy caring for all my Pokemon to *cough* talk to me. My Pokemon are
Butterfree, Beedrill, Pidgeot, Raticate, Arbok (Poison), Sandslash
(Bricks), Nidorina (Faith), Nidorino (Hope), Nidoking (Barbwire),
Ninetails, Zubat (Soundwave), Vileplume, Meowth (Mousetrap), Persian,
Psyduck (Migraine), Machamp, Tentacool, Muk, Gengar, Krabby, Cubone,
Weezing (Toxins), Tangela (Indy), Horsea, Jynx, Magikarp, Eevee (Vee),
Jolteon (Jolts), Flareon (Tiny), and Porygon. Not to mention her own
Dratini, Princess Gwenavire, and David's Poliwag, Goliath. However I was
not to be so lucky. Arriving at the ultra large fenced in property and
finding the gate was a snap (the first time I needed a radar to find
that stupid gate). Getting to the actual laboratory however, was not so
easy. Upon entering I was stampeded by Pokemon, but after what seemed
like an eternity of stepping on Bricks's quills and Ninetales's.... nine
tails, I made my way to the lab door. Where I stepped on both my black
Meowth Mousetrap's and her new boyfriend's tail. "Sorry Mousetrap, sorry
Meowth." "Meowth." "No prob." I froze in my tracks for a few minutes
until my brain caught up with my imagination and I realized talking
Meowths were impossible. I entered to face the wrath of the all dreaded,
all evil, Professor Erica. (BYTHEWAY: SHE DOES FIELD STUDY FOR THE
ROCKETS. YOU KNOW, POKEMON SPECIAL ABILITY STUDIES OF HOW TO INCREASE
SPECIAL POWERS. YOU DON'T? WELL, THEN IT'S A GOOD THING I TOLD YOU)
Wait, I didn't write that.
Meanwhile....
"Please don't tell me we're lost again Ash," Misty pleaded. "Ok Misty, I
won't tell you we're lost again." "I told you not to tell me you
moron!!!" "Here we go again Pikachu." (BTW: For all you Tracey haters,
Brock is in this one, and for all you Brock haters, Tracey's here too.
The one talking is Tracey.) "That's my line!" (Brock) "Not anymore it's
not!" (Tracey) "Oh yeah!" (BROCK PUSHES TRACEY OVER A CLIFF)
"Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (SO MUCH FOR TRACEY
*HEH HEH*) What the??? I didn't write that!!! Tracey, I swear I
didn't!!!! YOU DIDN'T BUT WE DID! Don't tell me, let me guess. PREPARE
FOR TROUBLE! AND MAKE IT DOUBLE! TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION!
TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN OUR NATION! TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH
AND LOVE! TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE! JESSIE! JAMES! Why am
I not suprised? TEAM ROCKET BLASTS OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT! SURRENDER
NOW OR PREPARE TO... SLEEP? SLEEP? zzzzzzzzzzz. NOT FUNNY!!! (The
infamous James of Team Rocket ties the moronic writer of this idiotic
fanfic to a chair and gags her) OUR TURN. (insert evil smile, Jessie
turns to keyboard). Ash suddenly turns to Misty, grabs her, and kisses
her, hard, on the
lips. Strangely unable to protest Misty pushes herself onto him so there
isn't an inch between them. Ash unbuttons his shir.. HEY LET ME HAVE A
TURN JESSIE. ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M JUST GETTING STARTED. IF YOU DON'T LET
ME TYPE I'LL TELL EVERYONE WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. JAMES THAT IS SO
CLICHE! WITH BUTCH. THIS IS BLACKMAIL PURE AND SIMPLE. Forgetting Misty
completely Ash turns to Brock and pushes him off the cliff too. Then he
grabs Misty and throws her over the cliff where they both die a slow and
painful death. Then he drops himself over the cliff because he was bored
and there was no one left to kill. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU IDIOT! YOU
DIDN'T LEAVE ANYONE FOR ME TO KNOCK OFF! WHAT ABOUT THAT JAMIE KID AND
HER PROFESSOR A FEW PARAGRAPHS BACK? SHE'LL NEED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR
HER UNDOING. HELP ME FIND MEOWTH. *door slams and locks* Those
numbskulls really think they can tie a knot that can hold me? Ha! Let me
at that keyboard. Let's see. They're not to bright so they must have
missed something! Aha! Pikachu!.... Pikachu went into the nearest town
to warn
everyone of the Rockets kill-everyone-so-no-one-can-stop-them-ever-again
plan for taking over the master computer. When everyone was informed
they turned to their master trainer Jamie Justine, "It's Jamie J! Jamie
J!" for help. Soon the trap was set, the most punishable plan in the
histo.. oops! Looks like you'll have to see for yourself! I gotta tie
myself up again now! Bye! *door opens* YOU CAN NEVER FIND HIM WHEN YOU
WANT HIM! NOW WHERE WAS I? Jamie Justine "Not again!" grabbed an axe off
the Professors table and, fed up with her continues punishments, went to
see Professor Erica. Seeing her at her desk she....... put aside the axe
and left. JESSIE WHAT ARE YOU WRITING? I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! We
Professors have computers too you know. UH OH. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
DOING?!? Giving you a Voltorb Virus. WHAT'S THAT? Think, think really,
really, hard. *a few minutes later* UH OH. *BOOM!!* LOOKS LIKE TEAM
ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN! Due to a certain Voltorb Virus my computer
will be in the repair shop temporarily so don't expect anymore fanfics
for a while. BTW: Everyone came back to life and everything is back to
normal. "Jamie?" "It's James, what?" "Why is Poison coughing up Raticate
fur?"
The End (Thank God!)
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Love it? Hate it? Tell me so! I know it sucks! It's my first one! Send
your comments to: nintendo@nb.sympatico.ca subject: Fanfics
