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Whenever I think of what happened, it reminds me of this song I heard once. Jesse and I were taking the night off, and as we were window-shopping at the docks, I heard the song over the speakers. I’ve never forgotten it…it went,
Only this time, the stains of shed blood that have been forever engraved on my soul are still there, and there are no signs of ‘rain’. I can never forgive him for what happened…
that bastard, Giovanni. I didn’t want it anymore, the tension, the stress, the hatred that being a Team Rocket member brought with it. I wanted to get away from it all, and Jesse, lovely Jesse….
“Hey! Get back here with my vaporeon!”
“Not a chance, kid”
“Ha! Know you know da real power of Team Rocket!”
*It was one of our best robberies yet. One electabuzz and a vaporeon. We were sure for a promotion this time. But that was just it, I didn’t want a promotion. Something happened to me as I looked back at the boy. He was small, so small, and he had such hatred in his eyes.
Hatred for the crime? No. Hatred for me, for Jesse and Meowth. We were so desperate for a material reward , we stooped down to stealing from little children. I had no desire to be known for that, for hurting people, for destroying people’s dreams and homes, I wanted out.
Jesse always seemed so at home in Team Rocket, but that was a different Jesse. If only people could see the Jesse I know, the kind Jesse, the Jesse who’s not afraid to be vulnerable and let someone take care of her. I wanted to be with that Jesse, the real Jesse, and the only way I could think of was to quite Team Rocket. We would get away from all the madness and the pain, it would be just us. I’d take her in my arms, and we would go away somewhere. Away from the children’s screams and cries, away from the police, away from Pokemon, and away from all that hatred. I had my mind set, I would go to Giovanni, get the money, take Jesse and go.*
“Oh, bo~ss, we’ve hot a little surprise for you, ha ha!”
“Yeah, and ‘dis time it’s a lot bettah d’en da Togepi!” Meowth lifted the two cages of Pokemon onto Giovanni’s desk. Jesse just stood there smiling, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Was this the real Jesse? Or was the Jesse I knew the real one. Would she be able to separate with this part of her? I hadn’t realized that while I was asking myself all these questions, Giovanni had been talking to me.
“Did you hear me, James, or were you too busy with yourself in ‘James Land’?”
Giovanni’s cold gaze shot through my body like a frozen bullet.
“I, I’m sorry sir, what were you saying?” I attempted to stand firmly as he stared through me. If I couldn’t handle this, there was no way I could hand in my resignation.
Giovanni settled into his leather armchair, resting his elbows on the desk in front of him.
His large hands lay clasped upon his chin as he began again to speak.
“ I was saying that with such a good haul that I see no reason why I shouldn’t promote you three.” As Giovanni finished his last sentence he began to stroke his Persian behind the ears.
Meowth’s eyes narrowed in a feral manner as a large frown spread across his face.
“And I’ll be top cat again?” Meowth’s gaze then turned upward at Giovanni with a look of hope.
“I suppose that could be arranged if you continue to prove yourself worthy.” Giovanni clenched his fist tightly around a wad of the persian’s skin and fur causing it to hiss in pain.
“Meeeeowth! T’anks a lot boss, ya won’t regret it!” Meowth chuckled in delight. How could he be so eager to be Giovanni’s right hand cat? Didn’t he see how he treated that Persian? Then Jesse decided to add into the conversation.
“So, boss, what does this promotion entail exactly?”
Giovanni smiled, “ Well, you’ll all be getting a considerable raise as well as an extended vacation…”
Vacation…more like a permanent vacation… “That’s it…” I thought, “it’s now or never.” I turned and walked to Jesse and Meowth. I then gathered them in a huddle so that Giovanni wouldn’t hear.
“Uh, would you two mind leaving for a minute? I’d like a word with the boss privately…”
Jesse’s brow rose in suspicion, “Is everything alright, James?”
“It will be soon…”
“What?”
“Never mind, just give me a moment, please?”
“Sure…we’ll be outside.”
“Thanks, Jess” I held her hand in mine. As she went to pull it away I found myself not letting go, almost as if I couldn’t, like I knew something was going to happen.
Jesse just smiled and walked out with Meowth skipping behind.
“So, James, you wanted to see me?”
“How did you…?” Giovanni shook his head with a grin and signaled for me to sit down.
“I noticed you seemed a bit preoccupied lately, much more than usual.” Giovanni’s face became firm.
“Well, yes actually, I would like to hand in my resignation…”
Giovanni attempted to hold in a laugh.
“You can’t be serious. No one gets out of Team Rocket. When you join, you join permanently unless I say otherwise.”
I hid my face from him. Something about his eyes, they were almost inhuman. Whatever it was about them he was making me incredibly uneasy.
“ I don’t care about your damn laws, Giovanni. I want out, and I want out NOW. I won’t have you rule my life anymore. And I would like Jesse to come with me.”
Giovanni leaned forward on his desk and stared down at me.
“How dare you speak to me with such audacity! Do you realize the punishment for the betrayal of Team Rocket is? I own this city my brave little friend, if you leave I can make your life a living hell.” He rose from his seat and began to pace.
“You say you want Jesse to leave with you…” that smile appeared on his face again, “what makes you so sure she’d go? She finally got her promotion and a paid vacation. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she stayed with out you.”
“I know her better than you, you scum. She’d leave this miserable job in a second if she knew I was leaving!” Giovanni stopped in his pace and turned his eyes towards me, not moving his body an inch.
I felt the heat of my body begin to rise inside of me. My throat became dry as I found myself unable to swallow and my palms began to bead with sweat.
“I won’t let you touch her…”
“Won’t let me? I’d like to see you stop me.”
“I’LL NEVER LET YOU HURT HER!!!”
Giovanni simply smiled and walked to his desk. He stared down at a small box that was embedded into the surface. Flicking the top back his finger began to descend upon a red button for what seemed like an eternity.
But not even an eternity could have prepared me for what happened next. I felt my body begin to move forward, almost instinctively upon him opening the box. As his finger made contact with the switch, I leapt forward knocking him to the ground. Grabbing him by the collar, I began to slam him furiously against the carpeted floor.
As his head hit the floor one last time, I heard Jesse’s scream. Giovanni just smiled,
“Y, you’re too late…”
“NOOOOO!!!”
Throwing Giovanni to the ground I ran out to find Jesse laying on the floor in a pool of blood.
“Jesse!” I knelt down and rested her head on in my lap as I stroked her crimson hair.
“James…I…” Jesse tried to lift her head.
“ No, just lay there, I’ll get help...I…!” I felt her hand stop me.
“James, don’t worry, it’s over….”
“Jesse...please… I’m so, so, sorry… I…”
“It’s okay. Please save yourself, James, they’ll be coming back for you…”
“Jesse…I…I love you, I’m so sorry…”
A thin smile spread across Jesse’s face as a tear rolled down her pale cheek,
“I…love you too…James..”
Then Jesse’s body fell limp into my arms. The screams of a thousand mourning souls exploded from my body as I wept.
I’ll never forgive myself…or him…. Ever again. We always hear about these men and women who are supposedly so strong, then something happens that completely shatters them. In the end, we must never forget how fragile we are…